The Trip

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Vika Zabolotnaya went outside. She had nothing better to do, so she wandered around town and stared at her pink coat. Then, Vika spotted a boy running frantically around the place and screaming, "IT'S CUMMING! THE FLOATING PENIS IS BACK!"

The boy looked genuinely off his rocker as he cried out and dashed hurriedly this way and that. An annoyed-looking older boy just scoffed at him, "You're hallucinating again. Get out of here, you fucking glue-sniffer."

Vika was intrigued. "Hmm, I AM pretty bored," she thought. "Maybe I could host a rave at my place! Then I could finally use my stash!"

She went to the abandoned house she was currently squatting in and decided to decorate it.

Walls and party staples were the first step. Climbing her rusty ladder, she worked hard for a couple of hours, spray-painting designs on the walls. Vika get out some glowsticks and snacks, and then began to bake some special grass brownies.

While she waited for them to finish cooking, she set up a turntable. She then climbed her ladder again to place a strobe light in the center of the ceiling.

Later, the oven began to beep furiously and she raced to the kitchen to pull out the brownies. She was relieved that she managed to successfully make the oven work.

Vika decided that the final party staple would be some LSD stamps, so she got to work setting them on a small table in the middle of the room.

When she was done placing the stamps down, she took one of them and put it in her pocket.

Vika placed a sign above her door that said "PARTY HERE", knowing that the people who came to her party would be able to easily see it and know where the party was. She then went to the turntable and played some electronica.

Smiling to herself, Vika sat down and took the LSD stamp from her pocket. She placed it on her tongue and her eyes widened at the sensation. "Fuck yeah!" she thought to herself.

Suddenly, the sky outside the house became hot pink. The speakers started playing a whistling, squeaky voice.

"Fiddle-dee-doo! Fiddle-dee-ded! I'm the only lobster who's naturally red!"

Puzzled, Vika started trying to fiddle with the radio, but as she bent down next to a speaker to adjust the antenna, it blasted a loud, static-filled whistle.

"Fiddle-dee-doo! Fiddle-dee-ded! Soon I'll be the lobster who sleeps in your bed!"

Startled, she snapped up and accidentally banged her head on the underside of a table that held some snacks. Rubbing the back of her head, she started to pick them up when she realized that the spilled snacks spelled out "Fiddle-dee-doo."

Vika was starting to get really freaked out. She tried to get out of her house, but all of the doors were locked. Whenever she touched a doorknob, she got a notification on her phone.

"Fiddle-dee-doo! Fiddle-dee-ded! I'm the whistling lobster who gets in your head!"

"Window..." Vika murmured to herself.

She tried to smash one of the windows open, but the glass wouldn't break. She tried to ram into them, but it was like ramming into a brick wall.

She heard a whistling voice pierce the room.

"It's me! The Rave Lobster!"

Whipping around, she saw a giant red lobster with a fiddle in the center of the room.

"What the fuck?!" cried Vika frantically.

"I'm here to party! So let's—" it responded, pausing for a few seconds. The silence was almost deafening.

"What—" Vika tried to say, but a chill rushing through the room and a faint howl cut her off. A bowl on the table fell over, revealing that the snacks were all gone. A collection of paperclips and staples that certainly hadn't been there before were in their place.

"The Work Wolf is here." said the Rave Lobster.

"I— Uh— Wha—" Vika stammered.

She turned around to see a large wolf wearing a tie.

"I am the Work Wolf, and I'm here to say, today's the day for work and not the day for play!" stated the Work Wolf. It took a few minutes to register in Vika's impaired mind. But when it did, she went from confusion to full-on panic frenzy.

Screaming and running around the house, she banged herself against the walls and even tried to climb the strobe light. Nothing did anything significant.

She turned around to see the junkie boy from before munching on a grass brownie and sharpening the end of a pencil. On the ground he drew a circle with a lobster, a wolf, and a human intertwining inside of it. Three big dogs sprouted out of the ground and began to dance around the circle while growling.

Vika's panic rose even higher and she felt hot tears prick the corners of her eyes. "Nuh— Na— Yandex how normal again stop now! Please these big dog are fighting na okay!" she sobbed hysterically.

The boy leaped forwards and pinned her on her back in the middle of the symbol he drew. She felt the tip of the pencil pierce her stomach. Out of the corner of her hazing vision she saw the Rave Lobster, the Work Wolf, and the boy fly towards each other and fuse into one giant eldritch abomination. The eldritch abomination opened its massive mouth to an unnatural degree and sucked the three dogs into it like a vacuum cleaner, fusing with them to be become even more massive.

Vika's vision went black and foam sputtered out of her mouth, dripping down her face onto to the floor. Another notification popped up on her phone screen.

Three months later, Vika tried to go back out to town to warn other people after overcoming her traumatic experience, but she was invisible.

Nobody saw her.

Nobody heard her.

Her friends were contacted, but they couldn't see or hear Vika either.

And the eldritch abomination swallowed the earth whole as Vika watched helplessly.

. . . . . . . .

Six hours later in real time, Vika woke up on the floor to her friends calling to her. The girl frantically explained to them what she had experienced and they embraced her, explaining to her that she had a bad trip and that none of what she had experienced was real.

Vika looked around.

She had not been stabbed with a pencil.

There was no strange symbol on the ground.

The bowl was still on the table, full of snacks.

The notifications on her phone were just her friends texting her to ask where she was.


It was after this that Vika decided never to do LSD again.