Aren't You Still DTF?

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There our little Smaskit is, in this fucking game. She is bored out of her mind and desperate as fuck! Looking for no-clip bugs, using and trying to find exploits. Smaskit sits and tries to find a good spot for level-farming. Mostly one-shotting the poor sods who want to play fair.

After she thought she'd had enough, some asshole by the tag of "Major Dick" approaches her. He's one edgy-looking faggot.

"Hello", he types to young Smaskit, quickly putting the blushing emoticon.

Smaskit notices he disappears into her den. She follows after him and switches to her small den so she can keep track of him easier. It's really annoying when random faggots enter and fuck around like they own the place.

He comes to Smaskit while she stands in the middle of her den.

"Hi there", he says and this time, he puts the heart emoticon.

"...what the fuck?", Smaskit types back.

"You're awfully beautiful.", he replies and quickly puts the heart emoticon again.

She puts the middle-finger emoticon and finds herself feeling like kicking this faggot's dick in, even smiling a little at the thought of doing so. He puts the blushing emoticon shortly after, obviously not getting the message.

Smaskit thinks to herself: "This guy's too retarded for his own good...the perfect victim for a little trolling session".

Major Dick does the dick flip emoticon and winks. He offers Smaskit to come to his den and buddies her. She accepts his request and arrives in his den, Major Dick following shortly after her.

"Look around!", says Major Dick. He smiles a little bit after.

She explores his den. It is ugly as fuck. It's a literal dumpster fire. Yes, literally. He has an actual fucking garbage dumpster in his den which has somehow been set ablaze. He has obviously been a faggot way longer than anybody else Smaskit had seen that day. Not-so-secretly, she sorta wants to set this faggot on fire in real life. She wishes Major Dick was as ablaze as the fake dumpster. Who cares? Just pixels. The real shit is way more hilarious.

Smaskit's definitely platonic friend calls her upstairs because it's time to eat out.

"Gonna go get myself some! I'll be back whenever I fucking feel like it, cocksucker!", Smaskit tells Major Dick.

"Aw, ok. Enjoy!", Major Dick responds. He does the dick flip emoticon again as she takes off.

Shortly after she and her definitely platonic friend finish, Smaskit gets right back onto the game to troll some more. Major Dick seems to have left, but suddenly comes back on after her. He sends her a message saying: "Meet me in Mt. Shiveer!" with a cocoa cup sticker. That faggot couldn't even write his own message. What a lazy piece of shit.

Smaskit clicks on his button twice so they're both in the same server. Once she arrives, she sees him saying something while sitting near the spring off to the right. What a faggot.

"And I just nod.........", he types to himself. Once he sees Smaskit has arrived, he quickly does the smile emoticon.

"Would you like to go get some hot cocoa?", he asks Smaskit.

"Sure, why not? IDGAF", she responds. They both make their way into the Hot Cocoa Hut.

Inside, they both go about their own business for making their own cocoa. Smaskit found it retarded that Major Dick was too uncreative to think of anything himself. She wanted to kick his ass so very bad. They both sit and chat until their hot cocoa disappears. Smaskit tries to tell some witty jokes but Major Dick is too dense to get any of them. After that, he offers her to play some minigame with him in the arcade area.

"Wait", he says. "I've got a better idea".

He tells her to go to his den. Instead, he sets up a few multiplayer arcade games in his den. She tells him she'll be right back to go check on a friend who needs her somewhere else. That was a lie, she just wanted to get away from Major Dick for a while and take a long, relaxing shit. Once she empties her bowels, she comes back to Major Dick.

Yet again, she arrives to see Major Dick saying "And I just nod........." and suddenly changing his message to an emoticon to greet her. At this point, Smaskit is sure that he is a retarded lunatic.

She's very annoyed with this Major Dick guy now, although he is a good lolcow. Suddenly, Major Dick asks her a question that makes her want to chop off his balls.

"Can You Breathe Ok?", he asks.

What the fuck kind of a question is that?! Is this asshole seriously this retarded?! Is he fucking high on something?! Smaskit wants to take her keyboard and bludgeon him to death with it. This guy is such a fucking retard!

"Are you fucking high right now?", she replies. 

"I see.", he says back.

She bangs her head on her desk and screams at the screen. What dumbass even asks a question that retarded?! And what the fuck is that retarded excuse for an answer?! What is he on?! She suddenly burps loudly and nearly vomits. Her definitely platonic friend forgot to wash her hands after petting the python before she started cooking dinner.

"Fuck...", she says out loud. She gets up and goes into the kitchen and gets some antibiotics. Once she comes back, she gets the screen saying "kicked for inactivity". What? She was just up not even for a minute! Piece of shit game! Once she comes back, she sees some of her chars changed and a few items are gone. Nothing too major. 

Major Dick comes back to her den. However.... he's wearing the shit she's missing!

"HEY, ASSHOLE!", she types to him furiously.

Major Dick smiles. "Yes?".

"YOU FUCKING STOLE MY SHIT!", she replies.

"So? We're fucking, we have to share our stuff", Major Dick says.

"We're not fucking! I was trolling you, dumbass! And even if we were, that doesn't mean you hack my account and steal my shit, you fucktard! It's my fucking property!", she yells.

"You have to!", he says. He's beginning to act like a butthurt 8 year old brat.....

"No I don't! Give me back my shit, you faggot!", she types.

"Whatever", Major Dick says.

"I'm reporting you to the mods, once I tell them what you did, I'M GONNA FIND YOU AND KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS!", she slams her finger on the enter button. Her blood is boiling with anger. How could this dumbass think he can just steal her shit? It's her fucking shit!

Major Dick puts the crying emoticon and says "Aren't you still DTF?!".

"FUCK NO!", she rages on.

"I HATE YOU!", he says. She notices Major Dick unbuddy her and quickly leave her den with the crying emoticon still above his head. She slams her fist on the desk, wanting to murder this asshole. As she picks up the phone, her cell phone notifies her of an email at the same time her mail notification sounds in the game.

"AREN'T YOU STILL DTF? I'M SORRY! I'LL DO ANYTHING!", the email says. It's from majordickreadytofuck@gmail.com. How did he get her email? What the fuck?

Smaskit responds with: "You STOLE my shit! MY FUCKING PROPERTY! Do you think I'm gonna help you get your dick wet after that?! I already wouldn't for all the money in the world, but this shit just seals the deal! How the actual fuck do you have my email anyways?! If you start fucking stalking me, I'll fucking kill you!".

Her mail notification sounds again. 2 messages now. Fucking great.

"We're a great match!" it says twice in a row with the heart sticker on it. They're both from Major Dick. This dumbass sent the same thing twice! Smaskit responds with "FUCK OFF!" and a middle finger sticker.

Major Dick comes to her den after and she quickly locks it. Messaging the mods quickly slips her mind as she gets another email from him.

"PLEASE!!!!!!!!! AREN'T YOU STILL DTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!", he responds.

Smaskit decides to ignore the email for now. This asshole is legitimately getting annoying. She deletes the entire convo and quickly goes upstairs to grab her AK-47. However....once she comes back....

She sees Major Dick doing some bizarre action on the wall of her den. His char is dry-humping the wall as he smears a penis and the words "AREN'T YOU STILL DTF?" on the den wall using his own shit, his penis flopping around like a tiny worm. He hops down, spins around, and sprays shit everywhere.

Smaskit has had enough of this shit. She travels the world for a few weeks tracking this faggot down, and finally finds him, sitting in a dumpster with the shittiest laptop in the world. How fitting. She shoots his kneecaps and then shoots his crotch, not stopping until she's sure both his testicles and penis are destroyed beyond all repair and recognition. She then throws a match onto the garbage and sets it on fire, engulfing the entire dumpster in flames. Major Dick emits a high-pitched scream as he burns alive, while Smaskit heads back home with a satisfied look on her face.